Redefining Perfect

Congrats to all of us that made it the thirty days…and those that tried!! I’ve made up these badges for both camps!!! Feel free to save and post on your blog…I just ask for a link back to Redefining Perfect!!

Enjoy!! I hope you use them!

Traditions can make or break a holiday. The traditions we grew up with as a child are translated into something we try to do with our kids. Every year we add traditions or drop them, but if we don’t have any…our holiday can be only ho-hum. In my family there are several traditions that I continue to follow to this day. Christmas is not Christmas without them.

The first thing that makes it Christmas is listening to the The Oak Ridge Boys Christmas Album. How can you not hear Thank God for Kids with lyrics like “When you look down in those trusting eyes; That look to you, you realize; There’s a love that you can’t buy; Thank God for kids…” and not melt? There’s just something about this album that brings Christmas to our family. We ALWAYS listen to it on Christmas eve (there’s a song for that, too!!)

There are two movies that we must watch, too! First is Scrooge. It’s the musical version of a Christmas Carol and it’s just bright and cheery and perfect for decorating the tree with! And we canNOT live without Alastair Sim, the original Black and White version of A Christmas Carol. His pure joy when he wakes up on Christmas morning cannot be beat…even by the drool-worthy Patrick Stewart.

Beyond media, though…there is one specific tradition that has meant very much to me for the past 9 years. Christmas Eve.

When I was growing up as a child every Christmas Eve my brother and I would climb into one or the other’s bed (alternating every year) and my Mother would read The Night Before Christmas. The linked version is the one she read. The pictures were so magical to me. The way she read it brought life to the pages and made me so eager for Santa’s arrival. I can still remember the giddy joy of clamoring into bed, me on one side of her, my brother on the other.

When my oldest was born the tradition was passed on. My dad took up the tradition with his grandson, who meant so much to him. I bought myself the exact same version I’d grown up with, and my dad would read that – and then the bible story of Jesus’ birth (Luke 2:1-20).

Now my oldest is almost 10. I have two very young girls at home. The torch has been passed again – onto me. Now on Christmas Eve, I gather my babies close to me on the couch and we read The Night Before Christmas . I quote the bible scripture, having memorized it years ago. We play our Oak Ridge Boys and set out Cookies and milk for Santa…and if I’m thoughtful enough to remember, carrots for the reindeer.

I don’t know for a fact that my brother also carries on these same traditions, but I like to think that he does. They meant a lot to us growing up…and I’m so happy to pass them on. I only hope they mean as much to my children as they did to me.

******

This post was made in honor of a contest over at Sue’s Navel Gazing…but I probably would have made it anyway I love the holiday! Thank you, Sue for the prompt!!

*Operation Santa – Stage 1 is complete. If I may say so myself, it was a success! In order to prepare Molly for pictures with Santa, I took her and the other kids today to the Santa’s Snowglobe nearby. We played in the ‘waiting room’ part for a while…crept our way closer to where Santa was. Finally got close. Every time I said Santa Molly would look up at him and smile. She wouldn’t get too close, but we got within a couple of feet. We’ll go again tomorrow. Next week when it’s picture time I may have to have her on my lap, but I think we’ll get close.

*DH’s Christmas List – I’ve asked him to make me a Christmas list because we are actually getting gifts for each other this year. Among those things on his list is…Vomit Bags (he finds the word vomit funny), a 2007 Dodge Charger w/ Hemi engine (yeah, that’ll happen), and sex. Hmmm…maybe I SHOULD get him the Charger *giggle*

*Christmas Cookies – I just may go overboard this year…I printed out quite a few recipes last night…but I still don’t feel I’ve found THE recipe yet. Maybe THAT will be my contest!!

*Shoe Obsession – IT’s gotten worse. I can’t even take off her shoes to change her diaper. If she were potty trained this wouldn’t be an issue…but…um…WTH do I do now?

*ON THE CHARTS!! – Molly and K had their nutritionist appts today! For the first time since she was 8 months old Molly is back on the charts for weight!! She’s only in the 4th%ile…but she’s on the charts!! She didn’t grow in heighth at ALL this time (very strange for her), but her height to weight ratio is still off…but who cares…she’s ON THE CHARTS!!

*A break from PT is NOT allowed – ever again!! Due to illness and Thanksgiving it’s been almost a month since K’s last PT appointment…and let’s just say that today was NOT successful. We aren’t doing THAT again *headdesk*

Overall a good day, despite the crazy way it started!!

This is totally not kid-related and so should probably go over at Side Dishes…but I’m putting it here anyway.

***

I woke up this morning to my phone ringing. It was my DH. This is normal. The girls and I sleep until 9:30ish around the time my DH calls. While I’m on the phone with him I hear a diesel engine outside. Several of my neighbors have diesels, and at least one of them ahs a friend that drives a bigrig…so out of curiosity I try to look outside to see what it is with little succeess. Whatever it is is right out of sight. I hang up with DH and head out to my living room.

Outside my window I see the neighbors Fire Vehicle (He drives one of the SUV’s he’s like a step down from the captain…he’s also a prick) – wouldn’t be out of norm, but his lights are flashing. No sirens. I move further into the room and see a plain white van. Further into the room and there’s the other Fire Dept SUV. FURTHER into the room and I see the source of the diesel engine…the Fire Dept. ambulance.

Now, if my neighbor wasn’t such a prick at this point I would walk away and just ask him later WTH was going on…but he’s not so I get super curious. I call DH and ask why they’d have a plain white van (no windows). I watch out the window. I suspect that the neighbor has died because she was elderly. There are no ‘crime scene’ people there that I can tell…but there is one guy in a black coat wandering around, putting laundry baskets of stuff in a nearby car.

Then the neighbors granddaughter comes out of the house. She goes there all the time to do her laundry. A few minutes later the granddaughters boyfriend comes out, too.

ANOTHER white van pulls up with really darkened windows…two men in suits get out – at which point I’m pretty sure the neighbor is deceased – one of them men spits in my yard…thanks so much .

It takes another full 5 minutes, but then a gurney is taken out of the newest arrival and into the house. One of the men pops out a few minutes with gloves on his hand…then the granddaughter appears again with food from the fridge (cleaning it out?). Another few minutes go by and the gurney is brought back out. Fully covered with a blanket. PUt in the back of the van. The Fire Dept vehicles pull away. The guy with the black coat has pulled his black SUV into the yard by now and reappears a few minutes later with a dog carrier containing Norma’s Min-Pin….

My neighbor passed away last night! I just saw her outside last week!! She was just blowing leaves by herself two weeks ago! Very strange. I didn’t know her well, but she was nice enough. And what an odd way to start my day…I feel very discombobulated now….

Molly has obsessions. They come and go, only return again and be greeted like a long lost lover (you’ll see I’m not kidding).

Her first notable obsession was the Backyardigans…but not JUST the show. We’re talking down and dirty love with the DVD case. She carried it EVERYWHERE. Took it to bed with her. It got to the point where we had to sneak the cases away because she’d played with them so much the actual title pages were ripped and worn – and in some cases the plastic of the case was half ripped off. We now have NO DVD cases of kids shows…all kids shows are on a spindle and locked away for their own safety.

From there we moved onto cars. She had toy cars and she would line them up in a perfect little line and carry them everywhere. This was a very short lived obsession…

Because she found her Dora doll. Oh, Dora was BIG. Dora was carried EVERYWHERE. Dora was chewed on as much as Molly’s fingers. Dora was LIFE.

Then she learned the word “STAR”. Dora still had a place…but STAR was the shiznit. STARS can be seen EVERYWHERE. On common commercials, on signs, and on fabrics that Mommy finds at the fabric stores.

For some reason stars faded…but so did Molly. She became very introverted again and we lost our little girl for a while (this happens from time to time…she gets vibrant and full of life…then disappears into her own little world).

Now it’s Christmas. And a whole new world has begun. We now have TWO simultaneous obsessions…

The first is STARS! They have returned! With Christmas in the air, stars can REALLY be seen everywhere. There’s one on top of our tree…ornaments have stars. She has picked an ornament with a star that she carried with her to daycare today. She KISSES the star on the ornament regularly! STars are once again the shiznit…

But the other obsession…well…

I bought ‘new’ shoes at the resale shop the other day. They are shoes I’ve wanted to buy from Target since last year, but never did due to cost, etc. So, when I saw them at resale in her size I grabbed them.

SHE WONT TAKE THEM OFF!! If I take them off she throws a MASSIVE fit. Even if I explain that it’s just to change clothes/diaper, whatever. If I take them off and leave them on the table…she PUTS THEM ON.

She goes to bed with them. Yes. I let her wear them to bed…you try putting her in bed without them!

Tomorrow we discuss Molly’s hidden intelligence…

This was brought to my attention through blog browsing over at Michele’s Sparks & Butterflies…and I felt the need to pass it on!
***********

The all-mighty YouTube has become as ignorant as other sites, removing a video that the LMJ put up in honor of breastfeeding.

Incidences like this make breastfeeding seem obscene and disgusting. To a young mother like I once was, it makes the nature of feeding your child uncomfortable!! I, personally, breastfed my oldest and my middle child, but not my third. I don’t care either way if you did or not…I more care that we are made to feel vile for doing something so simple when, as others have pointed out, videos of starlets and not-so-starlets shaking their bits are left up as “enjoyment”. Why not give others the ability to decide if they want to watch a video that is no more vile (in fact, less so) than a stripper dancing for dollars.

Breastfeeding my first was uncomfortable for me in public. I hid in back rooms, nursed in a changing room, in a bathroom, threw blankets over him and lowered my eyes in shame. I knew it was natural and reveled in breastfeeding him at home…but in public I suddenly felt…like everyone was looking down at me.

Seven years later I was able to try again. This time without shame I whipped open for my beautiful little girl…in a restaurant, on a park bench, in the middle of the mall. I didn’t let myself feel the disdain seething from some people’s eyes…simply reveled in the love coming from my daughter’s. I breastfed her until I couldn’t any longer (due to medical issues)…and now regret giving it up when I did because I didnt HAVE to after all…I just had a stupid pediatrician. I did NOT breastfeed my last (for multiple reasons), but if it had…it would have been the same.

Breastfeeding should not be shameful. We should not be embarassed for taking care of our children. Whether we breast or bottle feed we shouldn’t allow STRONG mothers who make the CHOICE to breastfeed feel any less of a person, or a member of society for doing so.

Mother’s, step out of the bathroom stalls and changing rooms. Breastfeed your child without shame. And help the LMJ get their video on TO STAY!!

(the following suggestions copied from the LMJ website):

1. Email congressional reps (link to http://www.visi.com/juan/congress/ – enter your zip, and it returns all three addresses/home pages for your location) and Parliament members (link to http://www.canada.gc.ca/directories/direct_e.html – enter your postal code, and it returns addresses/home pages of Parliament members) and ask them to tell YouTube/Google that removal of the video is socially and legally unacceptable.

2. Create a short video (not breastfeeding) that is tagged and titled “Message to YouTube” (feel free to include any other tags, including League of Maternal Justice, Breastfeeding, Health, etc). and tell them what you think about this. Tell them that breastfeeding is NOT obscene

*Updated: We’re going to reload our video (with new music) in the next few days. If you want, hold your Messages to YouTube and you can make them as replies to our Montage! (Thanks Jenn)

YouTube is calling for these videos and we’re more than happy to oblige. Make sure to send us your YouTube video link!

3. Write a post and include these same directions on your own blogs and send us the permalinks (or leave them in the comments).

4. Return to the LMJ call to action post (where permalinks will be linked up) and post/vote for others’ posts on bookmarking sites.

5. Submit our press release to online media outlets and social bookmarking sites (Reddit, Stumbleupon, etc.), get your message boards involved, send to your local reporters, or any national news contacts.

(Yes, I did almost forget)
***********

Hypotonia
(as quoted from Wikipedia because I couldn’t say it better)

Hypotonia is a condition of abnormally low muscle tone (the amount of tension or resistance to movement in a muscle), often involving reduced muscle strength.

Hypotonia is not a specific medical disorder, but a potential manifestation of many different diseases and disorders that affect motor nerve control by the brain or muscle strength. Recognizing hypotonia, even in early infancy, is usually relatively straightforward, but diagnosing the underlying cause can be difficult and often unsuccessful. The long-term effects of hypotonia on a child’s development and later life depend primarily on the severity of the muscle weakness and the nature of the cause. Some disorders have a specific treatment but the principal treatment for most hypotonia of idiopathic or neurologic cause is physical therapy to help the person compensate for the neuromuscular disability.

**********

And that is very close to what we have going on. K has the condition, but we haven’t determined the exact underlying cause. She is in PT for it…and we have seen a neurologist, and are scheduled to see a Orthopedist next week! That’s the full gist of it as we know it!

Onto Part 3 of the tale of me (Part 1, Part 2 to catch up)…

Moving to NC. Fewer pictures from here on out…

************

After I was finally free of Bryan, I moved to NC. My aunt lived there and I had been accepted to UNC_Greensboro as a Dance Education major. I moved in w/ my aunt and crazy uncle (seriously disturbed) and found a job at a restaurant there. I worked at the restaurant through the summer until school started.

During the summer I dated Jeremy. A cute kid, but nothing major to come of it. Especially since part of me still believes it’s very likely he wasn’t sure what team he was playing on (no, I didn’t realize it at the time). And to show how crazy my uncle was…Jeremy and I went on TWO dates, MAYBE three…my uncle had run a credit check on him before our first date!!

That summer I turned 20. I was hanging out with the Rock-O-La crowd…and they were a bit older. I got an in at a local bar with one of the (incredibly hot and WELL muscled) bouncers and started becoming a REAL college kid. We went out drinking…and I ended up trapped at the bar during Hurricane Fran. We played Truth or Dare at our table and called said-hot-bouncer “waitress” the rest of the night.

These six months were the most ‘normal’ of my life. I started school, I was hanging out drinking at bars, shooting blow-jobs, lying about leaving my ID in my other purse to get into those bars…I was a normal college kid, working as a waitress.

School was going very well. My dance professors were impressed with me and asked how I ended up in 100-level classes when I should clearly be in 200-level. I explained that I did HORRID in the auditions…and they said they’d bump me up at the semester change…and DID.

I switched jobs in last September so that I could work at the brand new Barnes & Noble in High Point, NC. Store #2806. I was there when it opened…working in the cafe.

I loved my job. I loved my school. Things were GREAT!!

In November my friend and coworker started dating another coworker. His best friend was a HUGE coffee addict and came into the cafe often. We’ll call him Alex*. We started dating in December.

January came along and I was promised “big things” with Barnes and Noble. I left school for a semester (stoopid) so that I could work full time at B&N. I DID love my job…I loved the company, seriously.

Things at my aunts house, which had never been great (did I mention my uncle was nuts?) went downhill fast once I left school. At the end there was a huge blowup where he accused me of lying…and my dad told him to shove it, that he knew I hadn’t been lying. And I moved out into an apartment.

I was still seeing Alex. We got engaged on April 1st. Yup…that’s right folks, April Fools Day. I still have the ring (a ruby ring I picked out…it cost $80).

The “big things” fell through at B&N when my manager made a VERY stupid decision (which we all realized a couple of months later) and picked someone over me to manage the cafe. The person he picked had NOT been with the company very long, or in the area…but had “food service experience” (he was supposedly in chef school)…Uh, yeah…more on that story in the next installment because that’s when it gets juicy *lol*

So, anyway. I’m working at B&N full time. Still loving my job…have great friends at my job. We go out drinking at times, or just hang out after hours. GREAT friendships developed there. In fact, 80% of the staff was from Western New York…it was kind of freaky like that…we all ended up in High Point.

And I guess you’re wondering when it happened? Well, a timeline for you (and all of the dates are accurate, don’t ask me why I remember them)…

April 1 – we get engaged
April 15 – go to hospital for pains. Am told I have a cyst on my ovary that it will burst on its own (they LIE, but that’s for later)
April 28 – We go to a Metallica Concert
June 12 – Alex dumps me. HARD. Calls off engagement and basically tells me he no longer wants to see me…ever again.

I’m distraught over this…but still oddly…calm.

June 14th I’m driving to work…I have to work 3:30-close (midnight). It’s about 2:00 and I’m heading in because I’m bored. I figure I’ll hang out at the store until it’s time to go on the clock. So I’m driving down the road and the song comes on…you know the one…

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover…

I love this song…so I’m singing at the top of my lungs…

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover, I’m a child, I’m a mother…..

I freeze mid-chorus…and no, I’m not kidding. I’m driving down the road, my eyes wide in shock. Thoughts race across, “My boobs have been KILLING me at night for the past week.” I try to push that away…then theres, “When I had that TV dinner I got SO nauseous.”

CRAP.

No…it’s not possible. I have a cyst on my ovary. Alex takes anti-depressants and can’t ever complete the transaction…it’s silly.

I go back to singing, but can’t shake it.

CRAP.

Stop at the drugstore, pick up a two pack of tests. Go to work and into the public restroom (this is how convinced I was that I was NOT pregnant). Pee on the stick…pace the small stall…

Stare in shock…

It’s POSITIVE!!! I’m…I’m….PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

CRAP.

**********
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent (my DS…not his sperm donor)

I wanted to apologize for my earlier post. It was my intention to never go off like that on here. I was hopping mad, though. I’m calmer now, but still will not post on the subjects again until I have had a couple of days.

Again, sorry for my tirade. It has been removed

I have a guilty confession to make…

DH and I raced through the leftovers so fast we were left unsatisfied…so I’ve cooked ANOTHER Turkey breast (and some stuffing) today JUST for the ‘leftovers’!!!
*****

P.S. Tonight I continue the story of me!! Fewer pictures from now on, though…I promise