Redefining Perfect

I have been curled up on the couch fighting a scratchy throat, stuffy nose cold ick and been totally uninspired to post.  It is only the commitment I made to do 365 that made me lift my camera yesterday (at 10:50, mind you…just after I took the Tylenol PM that would soon send me crashing into a deep slumber).  So in lieu of a real post bemoaning our visit to the Orthopedist a few days ago, you get 3 of my 365 pictures and maybe tomorrow I’ll be refreshed to write a real post.

5/365
“I can do it myself.”

6/365
Beware of the person who can’t be bothered by details.
~ William Feather

7/365
Tea is a cup of life.  ~Author Unknown

Funny enough, the picture taken as I was passing out from my cold and drugs is my favorite so far of the year.  Of course, I love that mug that I was drinking my tea from.

Hopefully in the next few days I’ll be up to posting about the other stuff going on. Our trip to the Ortho.  The breakdown of a pre-teens freedom into servitude and restriction.

For now I give in to my headache while my daughters eat each other as I wait for Archie to return home from work to make a grocery list and leave again.

The Devil is in the Details.

All taken w/ Canon Rebel XTi. All SOOC.

This week I started work on a project I’ve been wanting to do since I was probably 8.  I started constructing a Victorian Era outfit from the skin out (literally, I made a duct tape dress form & everything). So most of my pictures are around that event. 

Then, at the bottom, the final three are part of my new Project 365 project.  It’s all Mishi’s fault. She twittered and posted about it, and when I said I’d been thinking of it, but was worried of forgetting/messing up she ‘twisted my arm’. Okay, it didn’t take much convincing, but it’s still her fault. I can’t guarantee that I will POST a picture every day, but I will TAKE at least a picture every day and try to post that often.  I’m anxious to see where this takes me…my poor camera has been a bit neglected lately.  And I was really pleased with what I was doing with it over the summer last year…so I’m excited!!

Unwanted Travellers

Supplies At The Ready

The First Pins

And now my Project 365 Pictures!! 

January 1, 2010: New Year Wishes finish off the candle
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~ Hal Borland

January 2, 2010: My own decorative touches.
Sewing mends the soul.  ~Author Unknown 

January 3, 2010: A change of pace
Knitting is very conducive to thought.  It is nice to knit a while, put down the needles, write a while, then take up the sock again.  ~Dorothy Day

Weekly Winners is the brainchild of Lotus, the Sarcastic Mom.  Visit her blog to see more great photos this week!!

I got this over at the marvelous Sundry’s blog…and she suggested we do it ourselves, and I was all over that.  Plus, it gave me the chance to write yet another post…and since I’m trying to get back on the posting ball, why the heck not?  *G*  Seriously, it’s fun and you should do it too…she suggests doing it every year and what a GREAT idea!  I’m going to try to remember to do just that.  How fun!  So, without further ado, my answers (Goddess help me in answering them all…song lyrics? That one is going to take some time).

*************

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?

I finally got to meet my wonderful best friend Jess.  We’ve been best friends for about six years now and just met last month! 

If this is supposed to be something lofty and amazing, um…well…I finished my novel and got it sent out to many agents and publishers. A few nibbles – and one offer to look at it once I’ve made adjustments according to her notes. Yup, gonna try to get that done in the first couple months of 2010!!
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?



I made a bunch of goals last year, but didn’t call them “resolutions” because I don’t like that word.  Did I achieve any?  Most of them, for a short while, and then it all went to hell.  Even this blog went to hell.  I think we can call it ‘depression’ because I think I had a bit of it this year (and if Archie or Jess scoff at that comment, I’ll smack you both).  It wasn’t that I had a HORRIBLE year, just seemed to be in a fog for most of it. I didn’t even do the Cystic Fibrosis walk (which I ended up fresh out of surgery for – serendipity, I suppose).  My attempts to get in shape only lasted weeks – but I did lose 15 pounds and have kept it off.

On a good note, I DID de-clutter my house quite a bit in May. It needs a good once-over again, but I’ve gotten better at cleaning (if not near perfect). I got all my Christmas stuff with two days to relax and do NOTHING prior to. My best friend and I started The Modern Pagan and have watched it grow thanks to wonderful writers & readers – it’s one of my shining joys of the year. I got more books read, and I finished writing mine and put it out there in the scary world. I got ideas for 2 new books on top of that and started writing what I call ‘fluff’ for fun and to keep my writing muscles working.

What about for 2010?  I’ll make some.  I won’t post them in this message, but after the turn of the year indirectly.  Mostly I hope to live better (financially and physically), healthier, more creative, and live life with more joy than I managed this year.  I’m taking steps to make that happen and I’ll get more into that later.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?



No one in my fam, but both my Sisters-in-law are pregnant and due in February

4. Did anyone close to you die?



No.

5. What countries did you visit?



Ha. I barely made it to another state and you think I made it out of the country? Not likely.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

Energy and my zest for life.  I’d like to have myself back.  I’m finding her again slowly, and I hope that in 2010 she comes back with a vengeance.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Can’t say that any really do. I’m usually really good with dates, too.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?



The Modern Pagan. It’s just becoming everything we’d hoped it would and more every day. I would say having a healthy Angel all year long, but that’s all her, not my achievement I’d also like to say finishing my novel – but since it’s facing a quick rewrite I guess it isn’t technically finishing

9. What was your biggest failure?

I can’t think of any ONE thing that I’d consider a huge failure.  Not enough to be notable.  I guess letting my year and myself get so BLAH, if that counts.  Otherwise, it’s all the times I’ve lost my temper w/ the kids.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Yup.  Spent several days in the hospital having my gall bladder removed. Not once before have I had issues with it, but it totally crapped out on me in May. Otherwise nothing notable, just a couple colds/fluish days.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Hmmmm. That’s a tough one.  My laptop is pretty awesome and purdy and I lubs it…but I think the best purchase this year was the Wii we just got for Christmas.  I think it’s going to continue to be awesome (and addictive. Damn Mario Bros.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Uh. Huh? Definitely not mine. I can’t say that anything sticks out. Maybe Brandon’s continuing academic prowess.  I certainly celebrated when he got invited to join the Odyssey of the Mind (Gifted/Talented) program at school.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?



The media in general.  They always make me appalled and depressed.

14. Where did most of your money go?



Mortagage, cars, bills, and food. There isn’t much left after that.

15. What did you get really excited about?

Uh.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?

The first song that popped into my head was a song by the Glee cast: Somebody to Love 

Only because I automatically recognize it and 2009 was the year we got Glee



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:


– happier or sadder? Sadder. I shouldn’t be, but I’m working on that
– thinner or fatter? Thinner, but not because of discipline.


– richer or poorer? Neither.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?



Gotten out of the house w/ the kids for playdates. Done more things for me (I know what this means, if you don’t). 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?



Losing my temper and yelling.

20. How did you spend Christmas?



Christmas Eve and morning were here, then we went to my parents.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Um. No…not in the traditional sense that this means. I’m not single anyway, so…yeah.

22. What was your favorite TV program?



It WAS True Blood until Alan Ball fucked that sucker up.  It WAS So You Think You Can Dance during the summer season because it was AWESOME…but then the fall season happened and that sucked donkey balls.  Sooo…in the end my favorite TV program would have to be GLEE.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?



No.

24. What was the best book you read?

Um…you want me to remember that?  Let’s see…the one I wanted to say I actually read in 2008…sooo…going over what I read this year…I guess that would be Hunted by PC and Kristin Cast.  I LOVE these books so much better than that other series (which were among the WORST books I read)

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?


Uh. I’m out of the loop really, I hear things if I happen to be in the car or it’s referred to me.  So I’d have to say it was actually a musical “School of Rock” because it’s just a crapload of fun.

26. What did you want and get?

Kennedy healthy for a full year. A laptop.  The Modern Pagan started. And meeting Jess.

27. What did you want and not get?

A book contract. I’m hopeful for 2010, though.
Healthier. Boy do I suck there.
Financially smarter – so embarrassed that some of my friends are so financially thrifty and I’m so poor at it.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?

Have to say it was Star Trek. Yes, Archie, it was.  I LOVED Wolverine (Hello, it’s HUGH…beefed up HOT HUGH), but the story lacked…Star Trek was all around awesomeness.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I don’t remember. I’m pretty sure we went out for my birthday, but I don’t remember. I’ve slept since then.  I turned 33.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

A book contract.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

Same as always. Jeans and T-shirts.

32. What kept you sane?



Jess. My kids in their shining, bright happy moments. When I was in the hospital most definitely, Archie.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

As I have for many years. DROOL.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?



I don’t discuss politics. It all sucks.

35. Who did you miss?



Angela, a wonderful lady in my playgroup that moved so far away to Alabama. My kids adored her and her kids and she is just the bomb. Still get to see her on facebook, which is awesome.

36. Who was the best new person you met?



Hm. I can’t pick one, so I won’t say.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.



Never forget who you are.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.



You’re kidding me, right? A song lyric?  Not sure I can do that…let me think…

But I’ve been stoned
And I’ve been stung
And I’m still someone
I don’t want to hear about angels in my life

All I want is something real
Something I can feel
I want you so much
And I need to be loved to be healed
Something I can feel

Yeah, depressing lyrics…but like I said…the year was blah and I felt like I was sleeping through most of it.  But a new year is here…and how awesome is that?!  Time for a more cheerful song to light my way!!

I told you I was busy this month with crafts, decorating the house and just in general being internet lazy (except for twitter, which I think I OD’d on at times…but I digress).  So, here’s some pictures of the decorations I was working on…you’ll have to wait to see the sewing I did for my girls

First item on this list is not actually something I made this year, I made it last year…but I’m proud of it so I’m showing it off again.  It’s my tree topper.  The ribbons went down the tree and wove through he branches and ornaments (will be shown later).

Next is my forest.  I previewed it a couple months ago when I had my first two completed, but I expanded on it…I actually made several more than the forest seen here, but they were given away (to my Mom and Archie took 2 to work)…I apologize for the cruddy picture. My camera did not like the forest and I failed all season to get good pictures of it at all.

Then a series of dirt cheap decorations that were my absolute favorite for the year! Seriously, everything you’re about to see was $5 or under to create…

First, my wreath. All supplies bought at the dollar store. Total cost: $5 (4 rolls of ribbon, 1 styrofoam wreath).

Next, my garland.  Six pieces of felt and sewing thread…total cost: about $1.50

Nothing more than a simple pleasure.  Metal bowl I already had, filled w/ dollar store ornaments, about 3 tubes. Total cost: $3

My snow, one of my absolute favorite parts of my decorations. Realy made it feel festive for a simple decoration. Sparkle felt glued onto cardstock and stuck on my shelves. Total cost: approx. $5

And another super simple one that was just about my favorite besides the snow. Simple dollar store ribbon with bells tied on put on the curtain rod I usually have my quilt on. Total cost: $2.50

And those are my crafts from around the house.  Part of what kept me so busy at home!!  I was very happy to actually HAVE Christmas decorations this year…and all better that I made them myself…and for cheap! 

Now that those, and the Christmas presents (to be shown later) are done…I’m working on something for myself.  Something I’ve been wanting to make for many many many years…but I’ll share that later!

Coming soon, a giveaway to help with your New Years resolutions! I just got it via FedEx today and hope to have it posted up over the weekend once I’ve had a chance to look it over!!

Wow it’s been such a long time since I posted! An entire month, actually! I’ve been so very busy doing stuff around this house prepping for christmas and actually taking part in it.  That I just havne’t posted.

Sad thing is, I’ve been online…I just have not been motivated or inspired to post.  There are some things I have simply NOT been able to post about, and everything else seemed trivial, to trivial to post.  

Excuses aside, I’m starting to come out of my hole again, I think.  I hope.  I just paid for another year of my URL, and it would be a shame to waste it as much as I did in 2009.  My amount of posting really dropped off and died for a long time…think I can revive it again?  Gosh, I hope so.

I have a lot of little (and big) projects going on.  I have pictures of my massive crafting expidition and resulting Christmas day to post.  I have a lot going on, and hopefully I’ll be sharing a lot more of it with you again!  And yes, this involves visiting your blogs as well! 

~~~~~

*Paraphrased quote from Slap Shot.

Six years ago I met her online.

Five and a half years ago we had our first phone call.

We’ve exchanged pictures and gifts. Talked about our husbands, our children. 

She was the first person my husband called when I went into the hospital in labor – or for surgery. 

I sat helpless miles away as she suffered through a difficult divorce.

She sat feeling just as helpless as I struggled with my children, their diagnoses, daily life.

Last week I took a last minute trip.  I packed in an hour, loaded all three kids into the truck and I drove.

For almost 700 miles we crossed four states to end up in Virginia. 

I stepped out of my truck and onto her front lawn and finally got to embrace my best friend. 

We hugged, laughed, talked, and cried.  She got to see my girls and play with them.  Our sons met and became fast and very close friends (as we expected them to). We sat two feet from each other and played on the computer, laughing and joking that we should log on and chat online at the same time.

My reasons for going no longer mattered as much as being there. With my friend.  Seeing that it isn’t the distant connection that keeps us close.  It is a real connection, and now been cemented by face to face contact, long hugs and comfortable silence.

I traveled almost seven hundred miles and felt just as at home as I do now.

Always my friend.  Always my sister.  Now more “real” then ever.

There is nothing I can write.

Not at the moment.

There is too much.

It can’t be said here. It can’t be said there.

I am on a trip.  I’m visiting my best friend Jess.  We are meeting for the first time and that is wonderful…but the reasons behind it are too heavy to divulge right now.

I will be back. Soon. I will be posting.

Eventually it will come out, but for now when I return the posts will focus on the joy of this trip and my children. 

The rest will wait until I am in a better place to explain my absence.

I have not forgotten you. I just cannot put into words where I am. Or I could, but I won’t. This isn’t the place for it. It isn’t the time for it.

Please forgive me this brief break of posting that I had this week. The events were coming for a while, but hit suddenly as all things do.

I hope to return by Monday if I’m recovered from my long drive home on Sunday. If not, Tuesday. Then you will be able to see and hear of the joy I have felt in being here in this place, surrounded by the love of a dear friend that I have known online for six years – but have just now met face to face this week.

Until then.

Angel had her go-round with the Developmental Pediatrician on Monday. Avoiding discussion of the horror of a day surrounding said appointment, I’ll get right into the actual facts and (lack of) diagnosis!

The short of it – we may never know what causes our little one to struggle.  It may be that she was born so early, or just a quirk in her brain that makes her crooked physically and mentally. 

However, that won’t stop us from a) looking for a cause and b) getting her all the help she needs.

To that end, the Ped did see her unevenness in her gait (we walked and/or ran down a long hall to display), and tone.  She again listened and heard all I had to say on everything we’ve been through the past couple of years with her.  She gave advice and took a good look over her, just as she had with Riley.

Her solutions here were a little more complex, but not by much.

1. We are doing an MRI on her brain.  Taking a good hard look to be sure that there is nothing specific or noteworthy that could have caused this.

2. We are doing a full-run genetic test. AFter a pre-approval by her dual insurance plans, of course. 

Why are we doing these?  Because the ped recognized that almost as much as we want to learn the HOW’s of Angel’s issues…we also would like to know WHY’s.  She said that while it is likely just her early birth date, we should exhaust the remaining bit of question.

And onto the HOW’s…

1. Restarting Speech Therapy
2. Restarting Occupational Therapy
3. Having a psychological exam done to determine need for Behavioral Therapy
4. Returning to the Feeding specialist for  monthly visits
5. Restarting Physical Therapy

All of this will be done at Riley Hospital, and all should be covered by insurance (if not primary, then secondary) as part of her diagnosed issues.  Thank goodness for Indiana’s wonderful Special Needs insurance (now if only we could get Riley qualified for it *sigh*)…it has saved us more than I can ever say.

And that is where we stand now.  Therapy, therapy…and more therapy.  I’ll be doing a bit more traveling once it all gets started…but if it helps, it’s all worth it.

All taken w/ Canon Rebel XTi. All SOOC.

Beautiful Disgrace:

Making Magic:

Color to draw the eye:

Color to draw the ear:

Color to draw the mind:

The rarely seen self-portrait:
(taken in window, and taken because I knew it would be softer/muted/fuzzy)

That’s it for this week!  Check out more amazing winners over at Lotus’!!

And if you’re curious, the reason that gorgeous cheesecake picture has the title it does is because it was the worlds most beautiful cheesecake but because I had make it in a larger pan than I was used to I’d undercooked it…so it was gorgeous, but ultimately inedible.